The past .. why arent I over it yet? Why is it that I cant seem to move on and start all over again?

The past is something we should use to guide our future, not something that should control or direct it.

I know the past is affecting me, but most of the time I am unaware to what degree or how it is changing me as a person. How many times have you heard a person say they don't want to get involved because they don't want to get hurt again?
The same goes to me. Each time the question popped , that was how I answered, do not wish to get hurt.

Ive recently found out that if one is unable to find a true commitment with someone, it is more than likely because they have a few shadows lurking around.
Many a times , friends keep advising me that the next step to releasing my shadows will be to find out why they are there. This isnt figuring out what a person may have done to you, but rather working out why you feel the need to have the shadows there in the first place.
Stumbled this while surfing online the other day. Yet to try whether this way is effective . Havent really got the time to sit down and do it… One of these days I should

Take a few minutes to answer these questions:

-Can you only love one person?
-Is it an equal relationship if only one partner is giving love? How can this negatively affect you?
-What have you learned about yourself from your past relationships, starting with the first?
-What traits did your last partner have that you would NOT want in a future partner?
-What traits did your last partner have that you WOULD want in a future partner?
-What things do you wish you had not done to previous romantic partners, starting with the first?
-What things do you wish previous romantic partners had not done, starting with the first?
-What changes do you feel you can make right now to make you happier?

The last step is to finally, forgive and forget. I understand that I cant go forward if Im stuck on someone in my past. I believed I did the best that I could , however if its not meant to be, then it's just not meant to be. Things work out the way they do for a reason.
Maybe Allah has something else in store for me ..
Maybe I will meet the wrong ones, before the right one appears.
So when he comes along, I will know how to treat him better.
*ponder ponder*